Yes, it's neurotic and pathetic, but since when have I ever worried about this? And, just to sound a bit egotistical, since when have I ever needed to worry about this?
I now that I have always joked around when everyone has said that I was pretty and smart and all of that other crap that all guys should want...but in some way or another, I guess I never thought it to be untrue.
I know what you are thinking-I'm some air-headed bimbo without a thought in her head but that I am pretty. Well, I hate to break it to you, but that is just the opposite. I am such a tombuy that sometimes I wonder about the few guys that make it plain that they love me. And when I say few, I mean about three in the past seven years.
I am oblivious to anything and anyone.
I just don't get it. I have never felt like this before and it bothers me. Maybe it's because he is something that I cannot have. Maybe it is because he is different from all of the others. Maybe it is because he might just matter.
Wow...what if that is it?
What if he matters?