2003-07-13 : Commune of Crazy Control
Sometimes I dream that I am flying...Well, not flying, really - more like floating a few feet above the ground. Flying is too much for me. In my dreams, when I begin to go too high, I get frightened; worried that I might fall out of the sky.

I am afraid to soar.

I am afraid to be that solitary eagle on some rogue wind that sweeps me away to some new place, some new adventure.

It's quite possible that I am scared to let go and just allow myself to rise higher and higher into the stratasphere.

But I don't think that's it.

I'm not controlling my ascent into the air. I am merely floating - kind of like a balloon adrift in the sky,I follow the breeze that blows me along. That's why floating too high petrifies me.There is no control.

No control.

I desperately need to be in control.

I know it's not possible, but I'd at least like to put in a good showing of some control. Not neccessarily self-control. I have just enough of that to make life go by smoothly.

Maybe what I need is life control.

Yeah - I need a good course in life control.

I can see it now. It will be the next big thing. "Learn to control your impulses - Get yourself together." It will be my slogan -my new campaign. I'll find others just like me (and you just might be, especially if you are reading this) and we will start a commune based on each person contributing the one thing that they have control over.

Imagine...500,000 people working together to make one controlled communal life.

Crazy...

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